To start this new year, 2017, off I have set the goal of doing a blog every day. I am also getting back into my art so hoping to add that to my blogs.
I have not posted in a long time. I have been busy taking care of my wife who was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiforme grade 4 brain tumor. It has been a very rough 5 and 1/2 months. I will also be blogging about that.
See you tomorrow.
I would like to add this to today. It is the post that I did on a cancer support site.
Today is the first day of 2017. I don’t make new years resolutions but this year I have set a goal to do one journal entry a day for the whole year. It is an opportunity for me to take care of me. That is something that I having been hearing since my wife was diagnosed with a GBM IV on July 14, 2016. I have been struggling since then with that. I have had no idea how to take care of me. I finally figured it out a few days ago.
To take care of me I needed my own inner sanctum. I have finally got it. I have finally got my office set up. I have a recliner, my art table, some shelves. I can go in there (I am there now) after my wife is in bed and just concentrate on me. For me that means lighting some candles, turning on my music, turning out the lights, and just letting go of all the stress. It also means taking the time to do this daily journal. I want to look back on the day, take the good and the bad, and take it out of my head and put it here. Taking care of me also means getting back to my art, and now I have a place to do it.
So today started out as usual – help my wife out of bed, get her situated on the couch, take care of feeding the animals, get my wife her water, juice, morning meds, take her blood sugar, make breakfast for us, give my wife her insulin shot. We both sent out Happy New Years texts to the kids. There is a special effects that you can do when you text if you hold the send button down. My wife was having trouble so I did it for her and made the mistake of telling her she just needed to press the blue arrow. That irritated her and she snapped at me, that set me off into a quiet sadness. She asked me what was wrong because I looked sad. Usually I would say no I am just tired, but this time I told her I was sad. Telling her that really helped us both. After talking a bit about it we opened up a jar we had been putting pieces of papers we had written good things that had happened on. We went through those and had some good smiles. We went to Walmart and my wife was able to manage the stairs without too much trouble. We ended tonight actually joking and even tickling like we used to do.
Today was a good day. The cancer was not the star today. We were able to laugh, I did some crying. It was an amazing day because my wife was not in the hospital (she had been at the end of the month for the last 3 months). It was an exceptional day because we made it through the day, the end of a month and the start of a new month, without her having any seizures. It was a glorious day because she is still here with me.
To all the other caregivers out there – I hope you can find a way to take care of you, a way to find the positive and good in the day, away to not let this vile disease define you and your loved one.
Take care everyone