Respect – what happened to it?

Last night I was told, in my own home, that we are adults and can do whatever we want. This was by two people who one is just about to turn 20 and the other is 22. Now this would normally not be an issue since yes they are adults and can pretty much do anything they want. The problem is that they were referring to their behavior while living in our house. A helping hand we extended to them, our children, our family (though I was told they are not my kids) to stay with us pretty much free of charge (only need to help with any increase in electric and the $10 increase in the lot rent) while they get back on their feet and can comfortably manage a place of their own. I was also called a douche, told they will talk when our shows are on.  

Now you have to understand that my wife and I live on just my disability. It comes from Canada and is enough to survive on normally. The kicker is the exchange rate, which has tanked right now. We lose almost $300 a month to it. Despite that we opened our home to my wife’s pregnant daughter and her boyfriend. These “adults” are in this predicament because after getting pregnant she left her job (it was factory work and very hot) and he proceeded to screw his up until they finally fired him. So now they have no income and have rent, a new car payment, money they owe us, money they owe my wife’s mother, a court fine, car insurance (which they now have none of) and a baby on the way. He has started with Walmart (which he is in orientation and is already complaining about) and will get his first check soon. He told us last night that his landlord doesn’t want to lose him as a tenant (not sure why since he has never paid rent on time) and he can pay what he can when he can. He is a proven liar so I have a real hard time believing this.

So I have OCD and don’t handle sudden changes very well. I knew this might be hard and there would be some adjustments. They were told how our household operates before they moved in. It was initially discussed that they would put their stuff in storage and only bring their clothes and electronics. Next thing I know they want to bring their couch too – so we are having to figure out what to do with ours. Then they didn’t like the bed we have in the guest room and wanted their’s so we had to figure out what to do with a full mattress set, head and footboard, and frame. I am the douche because I didn’t handle these changes very well. Hmm, it is my house and I am having to rearrange my stuff and my life to accommodate them. Apparently they figured they would move in and get to live here exactly as they did in their own apartment. Which apparently means walking around without a shirt, leaving the toilet seat up, not cleaning up after making something to eat, never doing any dishes (that one was actually said out loud by him to her – that they would not have to washes dishes any more). They figured they could watch what they wanted to watch whenever they wanted to watch it on the TV. The TV stays off during the day because my wife can’t handle it being on too much. We turn it on around dinner time and watch TV till bedtime. Well it has not gone that way and I am apparently the one to blame for it. I am having a hard time dealing with their outright disrespect. My OCD is off the wall and I am having to deal with that too.

Anyone who really knows me knows I will go out of may to help if I can, and I have twice with these two. That is one more help then I normally give. There is no more “chances”. They are still welcome here but not with the attitude they had last night. Things need to be worked out and talked about – not yelled about and not name calling. I have tried twice to talk to him and each time he started raising his voice and turned into a fight.

The feeling of entitlement and lack of respect and gratefulness needs to stop.

Last night ended with me leaving and going for a walk. It was either that or punching holes in the walls and I won’t do that. I normally put my headphones on, turn the music up, and walk until things get worked out in my head. My phone we dead so I had to walk without the music. The walk helped but did not get it all resolved. So still working on that part.

Thank you for listening and take care.

Alex

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